Monday, August 4, 2008

My Psychotic Break & It's Contradictions With Psychiatry

It was after I went mad and had a psychotic break that I would recall three words from that experience. And these 3 words would have meaning in my recovery that were significant.These 3 words are be,grounded,and energy.

I never knew what these words would really mean until I had a Kundalini Awakening.All I knew was these 3 words were significant for my healing.

The word be came to relate to my being instead of my doing.I was a human doing as a social controller in relationships. I never even knew what it meant to be or allow others to be.This is because I grew up being controlled and abandoned. In my Kundalini Awakening I would discover I could be . I could let go of others. I could have social approval for my being. What I had to heal here was my own toxic shame.So I could find people that actually let me be the person I am.

When I went psychotic I would begin hearing voices as hallucinations.I knew that these voices needed grounded. For some reason this was apparent to me far before my Kundalini Awakening ever happened.I finally would ground the voices underneath my feet during my Kundalini Awakening.

During my Kundalini Awakening I would begin to remove fear,hate,depression,and anxiety. These 4 things were consuming my energy.I would often be in bed for countless hours sleeping being afraid and depressed. In my Kundalini Awakening I would go from chaos too stability and be able to face my life without fear.I began sleeping far less and working far more. Instead of sleeping for 10-14 hours a day I was now working 10-14 hours a day.This was also do too removing all of my repression.I understand the idea of Kundalini directly connected to repression. And I was extremely repressed.

It was because of these three words I never took anti psychotic medications after my psychotic break.I knew something was different in my experience than what psychiatry was telling me. I knew I could be healed if I wanted too.I used Neuro Lingusitic Programming to heal myself.